Compassionate transitions in hospice care and in nature

by Valerie Hartman

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

It was the first day of spring, and the sun was shining.  The white snow drops have been in bloom for over a week, weathering two temperature drops and a snowfall.  They remain tall and strong as I walk by and notice them in home gardens this week.  The snow drops are first in the sequence of blooming events that the avid gardener measures via nature’s timeline.  A stroll around the flower beds is like glancing at a wrist watch.  What I love the most about the snow drop is the flower’s constitution to rebirth right through the snow in winter.  They seem so relaxed about it too.  Just one tiny, pure white, fragile drop of closed flower petals, will hold your eye to such beauty against the backdrop of winter.  Stark and peaceful.

Many people are feeling the renewal of energy this week.  Even when physical energy is down, spiritual and emotional energy around this change of season can go up.

Promises to the dying: in hospice and in life, the need to be realistic

By Ron King

Live out your deepest devotion with the courage of remaining in the moment and choosing to love through each day with the best you have to give.

A friend of mine promised her husband that she would never marry again so they could be together forever because that was his wish and he was dying.  Three days later he died when he was 41 and she was 39.  Today she is 64 and still single.  No one can question the loyalty or sacrifice of another, but we do need to test our own readiness and ability to make final vows and keep them.

Can I pray for death to come soon?

By Ron King, Hospice Chaplain

When a hospice patient or family member expresses doubt or guilt about hoping death will come quickly and ask what God might think, we face a hard decision together.  It isn’t a question that can be answered with medical or scientific certainty. Different opinions and convictions may prevail in the same house or even in the same person from one moment to the next.  Moral codes and spiritual practices fail to provide a definite and satisfying solution. Past experience is rarely helpful and advice we seek is often contradictory.  Still, we seek out some authoritative answer or reliable guidance to help us navigate a host of conflicting thoughts and feelings.

Hospice caregiving and love

by Valerie Hartman

Mr. and Mrs. T were married for 65 years when hospice care was arranged for Mr. T at home.  He had cancer, bone pain, felt weak, and since he had practiced stoicism since his tour of duty in WWII, he rarely complained.  He started having restless nights after he returned from war, so his wife took it upon herself to monitor his sleep.  His rest improved over the years under her watchful eye, because she made it a habit to wake him at the first sign of a bad dream.  She cared for him in the last weeks of his life with the same skill she developed while overseeing his dreams.  She was attentive, on duty, sensitive to every non verbal sign of discomfort, and had the communication style that brought him dignity and security each changing day.  Mrs. T needed the support of the hospice team to manage everything that was changing day-to-day, and that allowed her to provide the kind of care she knew best, the care she provided out of loving her husband year after year.

Timing is everything: End-of-life care decisions are as much about the psychological need as the physical one

By: Valerie S. Hartman RN, CTRN

Sarah raised three children alone 50 years ago. She had few reliable support systems for child rearing. One child had special needs, escalating Sarah’s protective instincts during many difficult years before she remarried. At age 76 she remained the parent and primary caregiver to her adult special needs child, and she had no plans to use institutional care.

Sarah became seriously ill and signed onto hospice services after exhausting all options for a curative treatment. She signed onto hospice only when she felt herself weaken, when her ability to take care of her daughter started failing.

The Circle of Life: Caring for a parent on hospice

By Lorraine Thayer, RN, APN

Many of us have been lucky enough to have someone in our lives who loves us unconditionally.  For many of us it is a parent. The illness and decline of a parent brings with it a host of challenges and opportunities. The challenges emerge when caring for ourselves and our families while at the same time caring for a parent we know we will be loosing soon. Opportunities will appear for healing old wounds and creating lasting memories. Feelings of stress, anxiety, anger, helplessness are coupled with great love and desire to help your loved one during this difficult time.

The discipline of mindfulness in hospice caregiving

By Ron King

Mindfulness is the practice of giving full attention to the present moment, becoming aware of all circumstances and resources in any given time and place. To be mindful does not mean analyzing, interpreting, evaluating or planning. It is simply pausing to breathe, being at rest, stopping to look and listen to what is around you.

The Spiritual Bath for hospice patients and families

By Helen Burke

Helen Burke is a Hospice Chaplain with Holy Redeemer Hospice. In her role, Helen provides nondenominational spiritual support to hospice patients and their families. Holy Redeemer Hospice is blessed to have Helen as a member of our team.

An essential component of comprehensive wellness in hospice care is keeping the body clean. The home health aide provides personal care in the most gentle and respectful manner, leaving the patient feeling renewed and refreshed for the day.

The Pastoral Counselor or Chaplain can provide similar renewal for the hospice patient as well as caregivers on the level of Spirit.

Honoring holiday traditions and memories

By Terre Mirsch

We promised ourselves that we would avoid the last minute rush this year.  We had a plan that would somehow make this year’s holiday preparations different than the previous ones where the hustle and bustle of the season left little time for actual enjoyment.  Internet shopping would enable us to avoid the shopping mall crowds during the weeks preceding Christmas.  Decorating the weekend following Thanksgiving, as many do, would provide us opportunity to enjoy the décor and relax as the holidays approached.

But the best made plans often go awry and such was the case with our Thanksgiving weekend decorating plans.  It was two more weeks before we hurriedly went up to the attic to bring down the decorations that would transform our home for the holidays.  My daughter began handing me one box after the other.  We only had an hour and we were determined to get everything down–quickly.

Dealing with loss: voices on the tragedy in Connecticut

The tragedy of the school shootings in Newtown, Connecticut has shaken all of us. As hospice caregivers, we have been given the blessing of forewarning of the end of life; the families of those who died in Newtown had no such warning. Their shock is followed by profound grief. Grief Healing, a blog for professional and lay caregivers, posted the following written by Harry Proudfoot, who knows grief first hand.

There are 20 children in Newtown CT tonight who will never be coming home again.

Their parents will never tuck them in again or hug their warm bodies. They will never see them unwrap another Christmas present or celebrate another birthday.